Terrible Two's WHAT?!?

My daughter has been fairly easy on me up til this point in her life. I know I complained about not enough sleep here and there but the child has been really really good! This will lead me into my story...My daughter is so independent, she has to drink from a big girl cup with no lid, she has to brush her own teeth, and she has to put on her own chapstick! Her favorite word is NO and PAPA (maybe thats because my father gives her WHATEVER she wants!) So the other day I was on the phone crying to my dear friend Courtney Hawkins complaining about something or another when I hear Kenzie splashing around in some water in the bathroom...this could only mean one things...POTTY TIME! So I yelled "Kenzie get out of the toilet thats gross" she proceeds to say NO NO NO! So I say "ONE(pause a few seconds) TWO(pause a few seconds) now in any normal situation she would come running into the room laughing because she finds my frustration funny but this time she came out of the bathroom looked at me and said "THREE" then took off running down the hall. If I was in a good mood this would have made me laugh but because I had already been pushed over the edge that day I got so mad! I put the phone down and chased my child down the hall to give her a spanking....after I spanked her (don't worry it was over and jeans and diaper) she gave me the nastiest look ever and HIT yes HIT my face! OMG I could have screamed! So I went and put her in her crib and told her to think about her lifes decisions until Mommy could get her boiling blood level back down again. Instead of crying she sat down and started loving on her blanket singing to herself.

I know I was a really hard teenager and gave my mother hell....but really this is a little early for payback! OH MY this is going to be a long next few months!

Mad List

So im not mad right at this exact moment but this past week has been a brutal one! I feel like the best way of expressing emotions is to write them all down so here goes....

1. I'm mad that Jake has been away a lot these past few weeks (I'm talking like 3 weeks in a row a lot)
2. I'm mad that he is playing "security guard" in a place that somebody gets stabbed/shot/beaten at least once a week
3. I'm mad that Jake thinks that the extra money is worth it....REALLY I JUST WANT MY HUSBAND
4. I'm mad at the things I say to him when im mad (I really am a HUGE BITCH when im upset and I say things I don't mean)
5. I'm mad that because I am so exhausted ALL THE TIME that I get frustrated with Kenzie more easily
6. I'm mad at people/friends who try to take advantage of me
7. I'm mad at how people judge me as a mother because I own a pitbull...seriously if you spent two minutes with him you would love him more than you love your own dogs
8. I'm mad at how over the years people wanted to "look good" so they bought houses/cars/too much on their credit cards that they couldn't afford and now because of their actions we are having a really hard time getting a loan for a house even if we have good credit! THANKS you idiots!
9. I'm mad that my grandma is sick
10. I'm mad that my daughter is starting the terrible two 5 months early! NOT COOL
11. I'm mad that im so tired all the time...I wish I could live off of no sleep so I could get everything done
12. I'm mad that I am so OCD all the time about a clean house...I have an almost two year old I need to come to accept that its bound to be a mess all the time
13. I'm mad that even when im done with laundry by the end of the night there is still another full load waiting to be washed. How does that even happen?
14. I'm mad that shoe designers have such creative minds and because of that I'm obsessed with shoes (this goes for purses as well) Even when I have a full closet full the "shoe craving" is always still there and thanks to the interent and online shopping I will never stop
15. I'm mad that food tastes so good so when im sad or mad thats the first thing I run too! HELLO 500 pounds here I come!
16. I'm mad because even when I have ever intention to work out something always comes up (except for the past few days...I have to put my foot down and do what is good for me)
17. I'm mad at dirty dishes
18. I'm mad at the broken glass that I stepped on
19. I'm mad at the kitty litter I feel like I change every other day
20. I'm mad at being mad

With all that said....Jake was home this weekend and I fell in love with him all over again and even though I should not have had to of been reminded of why I married him I was and I love him even more for it! I love that he works so hard for Kenzie and I to have everything we want and I happy I got to express to him this past weekend that its not so much about "things" we just want him home. I don't need anymore shoes and Kenzie doesn't need anymore clothes...all we need is him. I am so thankful for my dog...I know you non-animal people can't relate like my mother but if it wasn't for my dog I don't know what I would have done. When I would cry at night he was right there beside me and when I needed to spoon with him he was more than willing. I am glad for my real friends who are there all the time. I'm glad I can pick up the phone and just cry to them for hours and they sit and listen and tell me what I need to hear! This week is going to be better I promise! I need to change my attitude on life....at least Jake has a job and at least I get to go to school. I love my family and friends so much and I know I count on you all a lot and I thank you for all being there no matter what!

Two in ONE DAY!!!

Ok so life lately has been BUSY. I love love love school! Did I mention that I LOVE school?? I have had my first few tests and not to brag or anything...I am making straight A's. I have never wanted something so badly so I am working my butt of for it. I'm much happier having those three hours a day just to myself learning about things I want to learn about. I had forgotten how much I love our political system and learning about how it works...well how its supposed to work. I am even enjoying MATH...SAY WHAT?!? yes I Kendra Elizabeth Corley enjoy my math class! Its difficult to find the time to study during the day but I find it don't you worry. Jake is being very supportive of me and helping out a lot with Kenzie!

SICKNESS....So last week I think it was I went to the ER twice. Once for Jake and the other time with Kenzie. Jake got this nasty viral infection, he could not keep anything down what so ever. By day three after not talking or moving for three days he lifted his head up and asked to go to the hospital. For my hubs to ask to see a doctor means he is in killer pain. So we went and he needed fluid. Then he got better went out of town for work and then lady honnah got the same thing. It was the worst experience of my life. I have never been so emotionaly/physically/mentally drained in my entire life. She was so so so sick. I took her to the hospital after a few days because I was keeping her really hydrated but she wasn't peeing! So my mom came with me to the ER and they took x-rays of her little abdomen which came back fine and then the doctor told me he needed to do a catheter on her so he could test her urine. At this point I broke down literally. It was so bad I had to leave the room (don't worry my mother was in there with her) I was sitting outside the door with my knees to my chest sobbing. Then I heard the scream...thinking about it now makes me teary eyed. It was the most horrible experience. So after that the nurse came in told me everything came back great and sent me on my way! I was PISSED!!! I toook her home put her to bed and 2 hours later she woke up screaming and making noises I have never heard before. My parents are two floors up and they woke up because it was so loud. She had no idea who I was...it was like in an excorcism movie. I was so scared. Mom and I took her temp and all it said was LOW...uhmmm I freaked. I called the ER in tears and you know what they said....oh she will be fine but if you feel like we need to see her again you can bring her back in! I wanted to slap that lady across the face! Anyways an hour and a half later she is still freaking out like when she woke up so I put her in her crib to see if she would fall asleep and not even a minute later she was out. Moral of the story....if your baby ever gets sick DO NOT TAKE THEM TO A REGULAR ER GO TO THE NEAREST CHILDRENS HOSPITAL! (even if it is an hour away) The next day Jake came home and I slept for about 24 hours while he was on parental duty. I was done. Now everything is back to normal and nobody in my family better get sick anytime soon or I will need to be admitted to the looney bin!

Hubs has been working out of town for the last two weeks and it is killing me. At first it was nice...I had the whole bed to myself just me and Kane but then I got really lonley. My dad goes out of town a lot and my mom would always end up in bed all day watching lifetime by the end of the week and I always thought she was crazy. In fact I would make fun of her. Now I understand and I do the same thing except I end up studying for something until 12:00 in the morning because it takes me that long to wake up. I really love him so much and the extra money is nice but seriously not worth it! I miss my best friend and all the other things that come in the married person package! Its ok though cause this weekend we are going to NC for the weekend without Kenzie!!! ALONE TIME!! YAY I can't wait!

Dear Husband

To my sweet dear husband,

The past few weeks you have been away on business and I just want to tell you just how much you mean to me. You work so hard for Kenzie and I and I don't tell you enough how much that means to me. Everyday when you come home from work I fall in love with your smelly, dirty self all over again. I have spent a lot of time thinking about our relationship and I love you so much. When we met, I literally was a self-destructive broken person and you picked up the pieces and put me back together again. You taught me to love myself for who I was at the moment and not who I could be if I lost 10 pounds or if my hair was longer and darker. You didn't run away after we found out I was pregnant...we didn't even love each other then. You have paid off so much of my debt and never once complained about it. You told me thats what you do when you love somebody. You have been an amazing father to our beautiful daughter who loves you so so much! You work the 60 hour weeks just so I can have that new Bakers purse you have seen me lusting after for weeks. You support me with my school work and when I made a perfect score on my first test you surprised me with two headbands!!! BABY you do so many things for me and words can not describe how much I love you. I'm so excited that my life's decisions lead me to you and im so thankful for how everything worked out. Your my best friend and I want you to know I miss you at night. Last night after teen mom was over I curled in bed next to you and you put your foot on mine. Usually this little gesture GROSSES me out and I move my foot away but for the first time I realized how much I missed that when your not in bed with me! Your gone again tonight and I will miss your foot on mine but I hope you know just how much your girls love you and how thankful we are for you! I can't wait to make more babies (well just one more) with you and I can't wait for our house and growing old together! LOVE YOU

SCHOOL

So I started school last week and its very different and interesting! Its like being back in high school all over again. They take attendance every day and you are only allowed one unexcused absence. UHMM hello....I have a child what if the babysitter ever calls out is she supposed to write me a note saying why she called out or do I just bring Kenzie to class with me? Oh well its fun though. Mon, Wed, Fri is political science from 7:00 am (thats right people AM) to 7:50 am then Spanish from 8:00 to 8:50 am then Music Appreciation from 9:00 to 9:50! Tuesdays and Thursdays are my stupid people math class 101 from 8:00 to 9:50. Kenz and I have gotten the new routine down pretty pat but there are still some days where I HAVE to take a nap when I should be studying.

Tranier McHottie (Ken) told me that the beginning of the year he was gonna kick my butt and don't you worry people, he has stuck to his word times 100! I have lost five pounds though! YAY go me! I did have that lady trainer but she has to quit to get a "real job in corporate america" thats excatly what she told me so she had me start seeing Ken. He makes it really fun where she made it not so fun! I don't do well with people getting in my face about wating a bowl of fruit loops one day!

Other than those few things life has been pretty boring around here. I can't wait for the 29-31st cause Jake and I get to road trip to North Carolina to see Carrie Lynn and Larry. Its gonna be a very nice break from Mommy-Daddy-School-Work life!

WELCOME 2010

I am so excited for the New Year. Jake and I are starting the house hunt all over again AND our house that we LOVE is still for sale! Nobody has even looked at it since us! UHMM FATE OR WHAT?!? Anyways even if it doesn't work out we still will get into a house sometime this year cross your fingers its sooner rather than later. I'm so excited about fixing up Kenzie's room. I even think I am gonna get her brand new bedding and toddler bed...maybe!

I start school on Wednesday!!! I am so so so excited, I feel like a little kid going to school for the first time. I have a pretty easy first semester so I can ease my way back in. I also want to make sure I don't overload myself because I really want to get good grades. With school also comes Kenzie going to the babysitter for the first time and im nervous about that. This lady in my parents church is going to watch her for us. She is the nicest person ever I love her family and she has a son just a little older than Kenzie so Kenz will have a good time.

Life is finally starting to settle down after the holidays. Today I was able to take a shower while Kenzie was in the other room playing with her toys. I'm really excited about that! Thank you to the person who invented the toy kitchen sets with all the plastic foods! You are AMAZING!!

Hope everybody had a safe New Year....until next time

18 month check up!

Yesterday I went to Kenzies 18 month check up. My child never crys when she gets shots and its always the same guy who does them. This time (it just worked out I was there by myself) as soon as Kenz saw the MA she flipped out...literally he stepped into the waiting room called her name and she started screaming and grabbing onto me. At first it was funny because it was so not normal for her and I figured she would chill once she realized I was going back with her. NO I was wrong she screamed until he walked out of the room and when he walked back in it started all over again. Anyways he did her height, weight, and head measurment and left. Doctor B came in and asked me about her eating. My child NEVER eats like ever. So when she was born she was in the 50% for weight then she dropped to 25% then to 15% then to 10% and now as of yesterday she is in the 10%. Not good! She has not lost any weight but she is not gaining at all. Dr. B told me to start giving her whole milk any time she is thirsty and pediasure once a day and she has to take this special multi-vitamin to make her hungry. CRAZY i know! Kenzie is only 20.8 pounds at 18 months old thats still 12 month clothing sizes :( anyways Jake and I will do our best with helping her pack on the pounds! BUTTER here we come!