someone once told me....

So I think it was junior year of high school I had my first real "love" or so I thought at that time. I look back now and realize just because you like to kiss somebody doesn't mean your in love but that is beside the point of this blog. Anyways I was so in love with marc when we broke up I literally thought it was the end of the world. For days I didn't eat, shower, sleep, or talk. The only thing I could do was cry. I remember talking to one of my good friends boyfriends I can't remember his exact words but he said something like this. When you feel like you have hit rock bottom Kendra the only place you can go is up and when you do start to feel better you will be twice as happy as before. Sometimes when the baby takes her nap during the day and I have nothing to do I will look back at my life and think about well what if I had done this different or what if I had never even met that person. Through all the heartache and pain I have felt in the 21 years of my life it was all worth it. I would not change a thing because I don't think Jake and I would have met if I changed one little thing.

Last night I had dinner ready for him when he got home after a 10 1/2 hour day at work. We sat down and laughed the entire time. After he got up to do dishes. He is amazing...what guy will do dishes after a really hard day at work when all their wife did that day was go shopping for their daughters birthday party. I told him to go in Kenzies room and play with her but he said he wanted to help me. After that was all cleaned up I realized I had not swept or vaccumed my floors in about two weeks so I told him to take a shower while I cleaned. He again said no babe you sweep and I will vaccum. I told him to put Kenzie in her bouncy thing and put in a movie for her and he said he wanted to hold her while he vaccumed the floors. After everything was cleaned and Kenzie was in bed we just layed in bed and talked. I was looking at him tell me a story at one point and it just really clicked....everything in my life happened the way it did to prepare me for where I am at now. I have had two real loves in my life....the first one didn't work obviously and all the time I wish it just never happened because of the pain it still will cause me today but if I didn't have that relationship I would have no idea how to make this one work. I also would not be as grateful for the little things Jake does. Jake is so amazing and I'm so in love with him. Even when we fight with each other when we get in bed to go to sleep he will always cuddle up to me and tell me he loves me. I can't wait to marry him in my dream wedding in 22 days. He is everything I have been waiting for since I was a little girl dreaming up my wedding. I'm so excited and grateful he is who he is and I'm so glad he is the father of my child. I would not change anything about our lives or how things happened.