10 DAYS

I have come to understand that a wedding is pretty much about everybody else but you. Here I am trying to plan my dream wedding and everybody has some kind of say about it. For example, " You two are going to regret this wedding instead of using that money to buy a house" News Flash People: The way I decide to spend my money is none of your business plus I'm pretty sure your name is not on my bank account so you have no idea how much money we have saved up for a house! My parents have been pretty amazing when it comes to this wedding so I'm not complaining about them at all in this post. If it were not for my mother and father I would probably be in Mexico with a changed name so nobody could find me. Every night for the past week when it has come time to go to bed I lay there in bed eyes wide open thinking about EVERYTHING and when I think about everything I feel like there is a 1000 pound weight on my chest. The other night for example I stayed up until 1:00 watching Degrassi because I felt so sick. Carrie keeps telling me my problem is I'm not being enough of a bitch so thats why everybody is walking all over me. Complaing about this and that. I don't want to be a bitch though all I want is for everybody I care about in my life to be under the same roof dancing around like idiots celebrating Jake Kenzie and I. I don't understand why people are trying their hardest to make it as difficult for me as possible. These are supposed to be the most exciting days of my life and all I find myself doing is laying around feeling sorry for myself and taking benadryl to make myself fall asleep. Really honestly I just want this month to be over so maybe my life will go back to normal. How sad is that....sorry I know this is a debbie downer post and I vowed to never complain on this thing but I had to just let it out.

STRESS

Last night I was laying in bed thinking about how perfect it was that everything that needed to be done for the wedding is done....but then I really started to think and I was very wrong. I have not even gotten our marriage license yet...Kenzie's dress is two sizes too big and I need to locate my social security card and I need to pay my hottie gyno a visit (yes...i have a small crush on my gyno) all before the wedding that is happening in 17 days! I'm freaking out. I was up all night with that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach and I have not been able to eat anything today. To make matters worse my stye FINALLY went away but I bet it will come back because I am so stressed. I made myself a handy to do list so hopefully everything will get done. I am so ready for the wedding to just be here so I can finally enjoy all the hard work!

Victoria's Secret

So yesterday I was on an "adventure" with Kelli (Jake was riding motorcycles with his father) when we decided it was time to go to good ol Victoria's Secret to find some sexy lingerie! I didn't get any at my bridal shower so I decided I would take some of that money to find some sexy stuff. We walked in not having any idea how this was going to be my LUCKY day! They are having their Semi-Annual sale so all their sale stuff was an additional 50% off! I walked out with three amazing pieces and two hottie thigh-high sets for only fifty-six dollars and some change! YAY! AMAZING!

Bridal Shower

So when most women get stressed they loose weight...I on the other hand get zits and wonderful STYES!!!! The day before my bridal shower I woke up with a stye. I used to get them all the time but since I have been with Jake they went away. I knew I still had meds left so I started my compresses and meds. I was hoping that it would go away by the end of the day and that night I went to bed feeling very confident I would be fine! WRONG the day of my shower I woke up and my eye was swollen shut! Never have I had one this bad. It was awful...Jake looked at me and said BABE....I will take Kenzie all day today and you do what you need to do to fix that! HAHAHA So I stayed in bed with a hot compress....after I while it went down and I didn't look like the elephant man any more.

My bridal shower was a lot of fun! We played games ate amazing food and cake and of course opened lots of presents! We got a ton of stuff...and this lady made a cool "practice bouquet" out of the ribbons that were on my presents! The best part was I got the quilt and a few pillows for our bed spread spread that I had wanted. I also got money so as soon as the shower was over I took the money and got the rest of our bed spread....or so I thought! We got home washed the sheets set it all up and realized I forgot the dust ruffle! So I am going today to get that!

Thanks to everybody who came out and supported me I had so much fun!

Me with two out of my eight bridesmaids!
Can you tell I was excited about this present?
Me, Mom, Colleen, and Kelli! We love our MOMMIES!
There is nothing better than good friends in your life!

Kenzies Birthday!

Kenzie turned one on the 24th but we had her party on the 20! She is our little bug so it was only fair to have a butterfly birthday party for her. I went a little crazy on making her party really cool even though she would not remember any of it. I kept telling Jake after the third day in a row of carrying in three party city bags from the car that even if she did not remember her party, I would so I HAD to make it a big deal. We ordered 7 large pizzas with chips and dip and then of course we had her cake! We got a big cake for everybody but she had her own "smash" cake. I have NEVER seen a kid go at cake the way she did....she ate it all! Literally there was nothing on the floor and only crumbs left on her highchair tray. Everybody kept telling me to take it away from her but the cool thing about being the mom is NOBODY can tell you what to do when it comes to your kid. Jake and I knew she was having a good time and seriously when else in her life is she going to be able to eat that much cake. (Plus she is only a few ounces away from being able to sit in the big car seat so we figured the more cake the more weight!) After her cake I gave her a bath while all the other kids hit the butterfly pinata. After that we opened presents. Kenzie wanted nothing to do with ripping the paper off her presents so I had all the other kids that were there help her out. She got some awesome stuff....lots of babies(she LOVES baby dolls) a music table...and some other really fun things that even I enjoy playing with. We had so much fun at her party! Thanks to everyone that was a part of it!

someone once told me....

So I think it was junior year of high school I had my first real "love" or so I thought at that time. I look back now and realize just because you like to kiss somebody doesn't mean your in love but that is beside the point of this blog. Anyways I was so in love with marc when we broke up I literally thought it was the end of the world. For days I didn't eat, shower, sleep, or talk. The only thing I could do was cry. I remember talking to one of my good friends boyfriends I can't remember his exact words but he said something like this. When you feel like you have hit rock bottom Kendra the only place you can go is up and when you do start to feel better you will be twice as happy as before. Sometimes when the baby takes her nap during the day and I have nothing to do I will look back at my life and think about well what if I had done this different or what if I had never even met that person. Through all the heartache and pain I have felt in the 21 years of my life it was all worth it. I would not change a thing because I don't think Jake and I would have met if I changed one little thing.

Last night I had dinner ready for him when he got home after a 10 1/2 hour day at work. We sat down and laughed the entire time. After he got up to do dishes. He is amazing...what guy will do dishes after a really hard day at work when all their wife did that day was go shopping for their daughters birthday party. I told him to go in Kenzies room and play with her but he said he wanted to help me. After that was all cleaned up I realized I had not swept or vaccumed my floors in about two weeks so I told him to take a shower while I cleaned. He again said no babe you sweep and I will vaccum. I told him to put Kenzie in her bouncy thing and put in a movie for her and he said he wanted to hold her while he vaccumed the floors. After everything was cleaned and Kenzie was in bed we just layed in bed and talked. I was looking at him tell me a story at one point and it just really clicked....everything in my life happened the way it did to prepare me for where I am at now. I have had two real loves in my life....the first one didn't work obviously and all the time I wish it just never happened because of the pain it still will cause me today but if I didn't have that relationship I would have no idea how to make this one work. I also would not be as grateful for the little things Jake does. Jake is so amazing and I'm so in love with him. Even when we fight with each other when we get in bed to go to sleep he will always cuddle up to me and tell me he loves me. I can't wait to marry him in my dream wedding in 22 days. He is everything I have been waiting for since I was a little girl dreaming up my wedding. I'm so excited and grateful he is who he is and I'm so glad he is the father of my child. I would not change anything about our lives or how things happened.

Mothers Day and Sissy Dog!

I LOVED my very first mothers day. Last year at this time I hated my life because I was a beached whale and while everybody was saying I was included in the Happy Mothers Day wishes I didn't feel like I truly deserved it because I had yet to meet my child! Well this year I totally deserved all the Happy Mothers Days wishes because I and a real live MOMMY!!! So I had seen in one of my celebrity mags these necklaces called Key To My Heart. I didn't just fall in love with it because Britney Spears had one but it really was the sweetest necklace in the world. For those who don't know me...I am a jewlery whore! I love any and all so this was the perfect gift for me. I told Jake about it like forever ago and he said that he wanted me to make a list and from that list he would pick. So I did just what he asked...I made a list of a lot of things we could not afford like a brand new red Mercedes SUV a pair of Chanel heels and a 62inch flat screen TV. My whole thought process was that he would HAVE to get me the necklace because he couldnt get me the other things. Well I got my way and I got my Key to my heart necklace

Mine of course says Jake and McKenzie and then their birthstones. It came in this super cute pink heart box that had a ribbon on it. I was so excited, I have worn it ever since. For mothers day we went to Jakes stepmoms house and gave her two presents and she made us homemade biscuits and gravy. After that we went to church with Mom and Dad and my Grandparents. I found this super cute dress on sale for $10.00 for Kenzie and she looked so cute. After church we went to my parents and had homemade chicken pot pie and Swedish Apple Pie. It is my all time favorite meal in this world. After dinner my mom gave me a present which was surprise because I'm not her mother. She had seen me looking at this really cute purse and after we left the store she went back and got it for me. I was so excited. Mothers Day was perfect and I'm so glad I was given the gift of being a mother. There is nothing in the world more wonderful than being a Mom.

Jake had to have a "manly" dog in the house because he lived with a bunch of girls. There is me who loves hair and makeup our daughter who loves anything pink and fluffy and our cat who eats out of a pink dish who wears a pink collar with a pink name tag and potties in a purple litter box. After a few "discussions" about whether a dog would be the right thing for our family at this time I lost the battle and we got ourselves a "manly" dog. Kane is not named after cane and able, he is named after Ryan Sheckler little brother. I have a crush on Ryan Sheckler because of how sweet he is with him little brother and because that Kane is the kind of little son I want when we decide to add on to our family. Anyways our "manly" dog had an awesome "manly" name with a red manly collar and leash and lots of manly toys. I am here to say our dog is not manly at all. He is the biggest wussy in the world!!! The dog has barked twice since he was 8 weeks old and growled once and that wass in his sleep. I'm not saying I want my dog to bark or growl I do want him to be a good watch dog for our house. Kane is the opposite of watch dog he is a sleep dog. He sleeps all day long on my bed with his head on my pillow and HAS to be covered up. He is scared of the vacuum so scared of it in fact he froze in place on the couch and proceeded to pee all over it. Our tiny cat who is no more than 6 pounds shows him she is the princess EVERY DAY by slapping him in the face and all he does is roll over in submission. I think its so funny Jake had to have a manly dog and our cat is braver than him. I love my dog very much don't get me wrong. He loves to be held on his back like a baby. He only had two potty training accidents and he loves Kenzie the most out of the three of us. He is so sweet to her even when she is pulling on him or crawling over him. Anyways that was my rant about our amazingly not so "manly" dog. I would not trade him for the world though. Our family is complete for right now.