10 DAYS

I have come to understand that a wedding is pretty much about everybody else but you. Here I am trying to plan my dream wedding and everybody has some kind of say about it. For example, " You two are going to regret this wedding instead of using that money to buy a house" News Flash People: The way I decide to spend my money is none of your business plus I'm pretty sure your name is not on my bank account so you have no idea how much money we have saved up for a house! My parents have been pretty amazing when it comes to this wedding so I'm not complaining about them at all in this post. If it were not for my mother and father I would probably be in Mexico with a changed name so nobody could find me. Every night for the past week when it has come time to go to bed I lay there in bed eyes wide open thinking about EVERYTHING and when I think about everything I feel like there is a 1000 pound weight on my chest. The other night for example I stayed up until 1:00 watching Degrassi because I felt so sick. Carrie keeps telling me my problem is I'm not being enough of a bitch so thats why everybody is walking all over me. Complaing about this and that. I don't want to be a bitch though all I want is for everybody I care about in my life to be under the same roof dancing around like idiots celebrating Jake Kenzie and I. I don't understand why people are trying their hardest to make it as difficult for me as possible. These are supposed to be the most exciting days of my life and all I find myself doing is laying around feeling sorry for myself and taking benadryl to make myself fall asleep. Really honestly I just want this month to be over so maybe my life will go back to normal. How sad is that....sorry I know this is a debbie downer post and I vowed to never complain on this thing but I had to just let it out.