Recently

Life has been a little "egdy" latley. I don't even know if that word makes sense, but to me its the perfect word. Don't worry things between Jake and I are good besides our little fights here and there but let me tell you life is HARD! Jake has been spending most of his days out of town which leaves me on mommy duty 24-7 and trying to find time to study and do school work has been very difficult. To add to the stress, Jake and I have been living in my parentals basement for the past few months too look for a house and recently my Grandmother became ill and both my moms parents need our space. So this boils down to us finding a house within a few weeks to purchase which adds even more stress on me. Have you ever had a panic attack? I HAVE it sucks its like you can't catch your breath and all your doing is sitting down. Its like a weight is on your chest pushing down really hard to make it hard to breath and your stomach is all tied up in millions of little knots that the only way to sit is the fatel position because any other way will make you scream out in pain. YEA thats been my life the past two weeks. Its been really really hard. I have been on edge so my daughter was unhappy and my poor husband was getting cussed out everyday for nothing. (Well some days he deserved it but not as badly as what I gave him) Anyways...I promise this is not a depressing post
So this past weekend Jake was home and we talked about a lot of things and figured some stuff out. Starting in the summer, my baby is going into daycare. Its what is best for her, she gets so bored at home all day and I really need time to study so I can get into my top nursing school choice! We also decided to wait on buying a house for a little while. We will either rent a house or apartment while still looking for our perfect house. Plus im thinking I want to build a house so it has EVERYTHING I want...im really picky. The stress of buying a house is nothing like I have ever felt before. Its so up and down and up and down and right now my poor little body just can't handle it. The past two days have been really good. Jake is out of town but Kenzie and I have been spending a lot of stress free time together. She really is the cutest little thing out there (even when she is not taking her nap like she is supposed too...i can hear her right now) She has all these cute little "tricks" she does and she gets so happy to see how Jake and I react to them. This weekend we are going to my grandparents house to visit with the entire family which I am super excited about and then the next week is my much needed and deserved SPRING BREAK!!! I plan on sleeping in until 8:00 am every morning and not open my books once!